wandering home

I'm writing under a little time pressure. After recently fracturing my left pisiform bone from a bike-stack, I've been having neuropathic (basically burning nerve) pain in the inner part of the left arm, forearm and hand. In short, the night dose of amitriptyline makes me sleepy within 1hour: I took it 45minutes ago. I also need to rest up before a 12 hour drive with stop tomorrow.

We're moving to Melbourne for a year as of tomorrow. For work, for adventure, for learning, for growing, for closer relationships and for challenges, but ultimately for what? Why leave home, friends, family and most of all comforts? Things were, and God-willing, nice, easy and just right.

My family and Danielle's family have been families of wanderers. Not pointlessly, not unwillingly, but certainly big movers. Danielle had spent several years in rural NSW and San Francisco in her childhood; I of course migrated from Hong Kong with my family and have moved homes 4 times since settling in Australia. All the places we had been to were made "homes".

But as a Christian, I honestly never feel at home, not here, not there. Yes, I have a single residential address, I am an Australian citizen, a permanent citizen of Hong Kong. I also enjoy relaxing in a place that lets me put my feet up, like those Victorian husbands. But, I am still looking for home. Home is this collective memory that we hall have but all realise we haven't got. It's forever elusive. If the place you're presently at is home, then, why change, why modify, why move interstate? Why wander?

I'm not really moving in a sense, as we have our home in NSW still. We have plans to return, to rebuild and to provide stability for kids. That's because I want to give the children a sense of home. More than that, by the Grace of God, I wish they will see that the truest home for all people, not just Christians, is Heaven itself. Now that's HOME, a mansion with many rooms for the children of God, all having access through the Lord to the Father of the mansion, the Centre and Life of the party.

Once there, I will, we will, not wish to move out. It'll be a place where all, once made perfect, will enjoy perfection forever. Paradise, who wants in? And who would wish to leave?

For 2012, Melbourne will do just fine, and have I said that it is a better place than Sydney? As objective as I can be, it is better in many ways. But whilst on Earth, I have earthly vestiges, I linger on the idea of home, so Sydney, however imperfect it is, will be home for now. But I'm clear, that my longing lies elsewhere and further than here. I remain, inwardly, a wanderer.

Good night, the amitriptyline and Danielle are calling me to sleep. I can't even stay up to watch Federer lose to Nadal in the Australian Open semifinal.

2008 in hindsight

I think it was Dickens who reflected, when looking at a beggar on the sidewalk one day, "There, but for the grace of God, goes I," or words to that effect. What he meant was that it was only the kindness of God that kept him from poverty, sickness, destitution and gave him material comfort, success and happiness.

It was not a comment in a Christian sense on what truly is God's blessing. He does not mean that just because we are doing badly physically that we are not blessed spiritually. No, he was only commenting on how all god things come from God and we as human beings cannot boast in what we have, what we have accomplished or even who we are. We are in good shape by the kindness and generosity of God alone.

Looking back on 2008, I can only say that nothing good - and some things very good - had come about because I deserved it or have earned it. Just thinking about my wife's patience and forgiveness and the coming of Emmanuelle, the support from friends and families, being granted a job for 4 years, seeing people at church and bible study grow, seeing how family and friends experience the goodness of God through trials - just thinking about these things made me realize just how "blessed" I am and those of my Christian friends are.

Mistakes, big and small, marked so much of the year. And I just wonder what in God's mind and heart kept Him forgiving, patient and even encouraging toward a fool such as I? Again, but for the grace of God. Perhaps I ought to point out more specifically how God did not condemn me in my weakness but instead, reminded me that He is God, the same faithful, persevering and loving Father that sends His one and only Son for the sins of the world who is against Him. I think that it is particularly in reminiscing my own weaknesses that I am more thankful for who my God is. Yet this is not the place for specifics, especially if my foolishness has affected others. But needless to repeat, I can't boast in my thoughts, character, achievement or being throughout the events of 2008; I'm just thrilled to still be a forgiven sinner.

In contrast, blessings are easier to name specifically. On top of the list I have mentioned, I ought to add the gift of true friends, the joy I receive in His word of promise given by Scripture, the hope of justice in His new Heaven and Earth, material comfort and so the ability to give, reconciliation of some sort with a lost friend, great teaching from my home church, the Spirit's work in my non-christian family members, God's keeping and maturing of my christian family members, exciting times of "regeneration" of many Christian friends, and the list just keeps expanding. To be brutally honest, I can have nothing to complain about, God has blessed me abundantly, I lack nothing at all in this life or the next. And it's not only me, it applies to so many fellow Christian friends.

I must remember here one of Mark Driscoll's talk on the prayer of Jesus. The main point was: prayer is about asking God's will, not my own; it's not about our own plans or desires, but about His desire and plan. Through any event or life-stage, and I sense that hardship will come sooner than I know it, God's promise still stands: He is with us who depend on Him, He may not give us what we ask or take away any earthly pain or disaster from us, but He promises to be with us until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). Of course in the next age, there is no more sin, no more death and no more horrors of the curse.

So because of the Lordship of Jesus, who is Emmanuel or God dwelling with us, 2009 will display just as much and if not more of God's grace and faithfulness. For that I'm grateful and very excited.

2008 in hindsight

I think it was Dickens who reflected, when looking at a beggar on the sidewalk one day, "There, but for the grace of God, goes I," or words to that effect. What he meant was that it was only the kindness of God that kept him from poverty, sickness, destitution and gave him material comfort, success and happiness.

It was not a comment in a Christian sense on what truly is God's blessing. He does not mean that just because we are doing badly physically that we are not blessed spiritually. No, he was only commenting on how all god things come from God and we as human beings cannot boast in what we have, what we have accomplished or even who we are. We are in good shape by the kindness and generosity of God alone.

Looking back on 2008, I can only say that nothing good - and some things very good - had come about because I deserved it or have earned it. Just thinking about my wife's patience and forgiveness and the coming of Emmanuelle, the support from friends and families, being granted a job for 4 years, seeing people at church and bible study grow, seeing how family and friends experience the goodness of God through trials - just thinking about these things made me realize just how "blessed" I am and those of my Christian friends are.

Mistakes, big and small, marked so much of the year. And I just wonder what in God's mind and heart kept Him forgiving, patient and even encouraging toward a fool such as I? Again, but for the grace of God. Perhaps I ought to point out more specifically how God did not condemn me in my weakness but instead, reminded me that He is God, the same faithful, persevering and loving Father that sends His one and only Son for the sins of the world who is against Him. I think that it is particularly in reminiscing my own weaknesses that I am more thankful for who my God is. Yet may be this is not the place for specifics, especially if my foolishness has affected others. But needless to repeat, I can't boast in my thoughts, character, achievement or being throughout the events of 2008; I'm just thrilled to still be a forgiven sinner.

In contrast, blessings are easier to name specifically. On top of the list I have mentioned, I ought to add the gift of true friends, the joy I receive in His word of promise given by Scripture, the hope of justice in His new Heaven and Earth, material comfort and so the ability to give, reconciliation of some sort with a lost friend, great teaching from my home church, the Spirit's work in my non-christian family members, God's keeping and maturing of my christian family members, exciting times of "regeneration" of many Christian friends, and the list just keeps expanding. To be brutally honest, I can have nothing to complain about, God has blessed me abundantly, I lack nothing at all in this life or the next. And it's not only me, it applies to so many fellow Christian friends.

I must remember here one of Mark Driscoll's talk on the prayer of Jesus. The main point was: prayer is about asking God's will, not my own; it's not about our own plans or desires, but about His desire and plan. Through any event or life-stage, and I sense that hardship will come sooner than I know it, God's promise still stands: He is with us who depend on Him, He may not give us what we ask or take away any earthly pain or disaster from us, but He promises to be with us until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). Of course in the next age, there is no more sin, no more death and no more horrors of the curse.

So because of the Lordship of Jesus, who is Emmanuel or God dwelling with us, 2009 will display just as much and if not more of God's grace and faithfulness. For that I'm grateful and very excited.

How to relate to parents, Australian Asian Style | workshop @500, 5th Oct 2008

(image from stock.xchng: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/353243)

I thank God that more than 20 of us turned up to 500 - a fellowship at my church NDCCC - 2 wks ago for that special workshop on relating to [Chinese] parents. There were a couple of friends from other churches who wanted to think through Chinese cultural issues pertaining to serving, it was very nice to see them.

Andrew (our pastor) briefly explained how Confucianism affected and still pervades even our Australian Asian culture. Say... why is it that parents often make their ABC kids play an instrument? Well, this is an example of Confucius' emphasis on the imposition of harmony within a family or social unit. It was helpful to entrench in my mind the five key relationships within Confucian society: Father & Son, Elder & Junior, Husband & Wife, King & Subject and Friend & Friend.

We had an interesting panel, consisting of Aaron, Gabriel, Sarah H. & Priscillla (thanks for prompt replies guys). A spectrum of parent & child relationship was seen. I was quite thankful of some of the reasonable and open parenting styles in particular. It seems like God has blessed us with some pretty godly parents in our congregation.

A small highlight was of course prayer at the end. THere was a common resolve to "honour our parents", even though we had not defined or explored exactly how it happens. But it was clear that the Bible's inference, indeed God's character as the Father, is at stake in how we honour our own earthly parents. I prayed with Dan Wong, and it was clear that Andrew's recommendation had an impression on both of us: that we move from Conforming, Ignoring, Conflicting to Engaging with our parents.

To keep it simple and stupid: we grow from obeying our parents to honouring them as we mature as Christians. We must think hard on how we do that as young/old adults who take our God the Father seriously.

For those who missed it for one reason on another, simply get Andrew's notes or read his blog:

http://andrewhongnsw.spaces.live.com/Lists/cns!EEB36B88C6BA62C4!2454/

Emmanuelle and ... the series begins

Blogging on the arrival of Emmanuelle Hillary Ng has been long overdue. The reason for my delay is that there have been many thoughts, incidences and challenges in these two short months. I could easily write a book on these collected thoughts alone.

I will begin by saying that God has both a sense of humour and a penache for perfect timing. Remember that lovely refrain from Ecclesiastes? There is a time for everything, a time for peace and time for war... The lesson is that God makes everything beautiful in its time. The arrival of Emmanuelle - or Emmie - just goes to demonstrate His lovely timing.

Emmie was 3 wks premature, due to intrauterine growth retardation, or in other words, her belly wasn't growing fast enough and so the obstetrician decided to induce labour 3wks early, whilst things were still within normal ranges. We found out this by "chance" on some timely growth scans. So, a shocked Danielle packed her bags, and rang me in haste on the Wednesday (2nd) at 4pm and told me: "I have got to have this baby tomorrow." I finished what I was doing (reviewing some patient), and quickly asked my boss for some leave. All things were done at just the right time, I got my leave, talked with other registrars, filled my roster and got pay done with admin, all from 4:30 to 5:00pm, not a second wasted.

Then, my mother and sister had accidentally planned to arrive on the morn of the Thursday (3rd), 3wks prior to the due date. Wow, what timing. Another two pairs of hands to help me purchase some last minute stuff as we made the Mater Delivery Suite our new abode for the day. There was so much delay in the Suite, that we got the "prostin" (the induction gel) only by late afternoon. The night went by, the contractions hadn't gained strength, so we got some broken sleep. Emmanuelle was not meant to arrive until the next day.

Now it was the Friday (4th). My father had also accidentally planned to arrive that morning; his intention was only to see my brother off, who was leaving for London/Chicago for a whole year's worth of studies on the Saturday (5th). Would Emmanuelle come at the right time? She did. Dad was only scheduled to come in later that afternoon, Jimmy was to leave early the next morning. All up there was a window of say... twelve hours, in which my whole family would be there to see Emmie for the first time, and for the last time in a year for my brother. According to plan, she arrived at 6:30pm that night, my family and Danielle's family could all gather, to enjoy this child's coming.

God must have been enjoying His precise work all this time. He knew He wanted Emmanuelle to come on the 4th July, Independence Day. Did He know that we had named Emmie after Hillary (the Clinton) as well? Of course He did. There is not even the falling of a hair from our heads that escapes His notice (Matthew 6 somewhere). For Him, to bring Emmanuelle Hillary Ng on Independence Day was no feat at all. We, creatures of mankind, can only witness and enjoy Him, the powerful Creator and Ruler, in His wonderful timing. He does the actual work and He moves all things by His will. He has wrought much greater events in human history, the birth and life of Christ for example, was one such event. Why does Jesus come 14 generations after Babylonian Exile (Matthew 1)? Why does He escape infanticide in Judea under Herod (Matthew 2)? Why does Jesus pick the Passover for His death (Matthew 26)? Why did the King of the Jews choose the height of the Roman Empire as the time to bring about His Kingdom? Why will the Christ delay in returning once again, not as Saviour but as Judge of the world? God does all these things with intention. His timing is simply superb in bringing about His purpose.

In this little way, He has taught me just how skilled He is in all events of history, whether big or small. So begins the series of amazing events around the coming of Emmanuelle.

the essence of family: book

I don't think we need to convince people that "family" is worth reading and thinking about. Or that in our world many families are broken, torn and unstable. Kirsten Birkett places the family under a biblical worldview, in the flavour of the "essence" series. The concept of family needs particular defence in a place such as Australia. Our government in the past 10 years or so have seen the need to study, review and recommend policies on families, see for example the AIFS website. The Australian family or family groups are under strain, despite wealth and post-Christian "freedoms".

Just why does the world and history at large have used the traditional family as a structure for social organisation? Is it mere coincidence? Is it an evolutionary advantage? Is it mere social construction from an aeon of male-sexist domination? Does the idea of family exist or is it undefinable? These are seemingly fair questions. But, as Birkett argues, the big problem has been the refusal to use the historic, cross-cultural pattern of families (father, mother, children) as the model of comparison in our post-Christian age. As Christians, we know that this pattern is a God-given: it has existed from the act of Creation in Genesis. Yes, Judeo-Christian families have often strayed away from the monogamous type of family, but these were not ideal, or of God's preference. The New Testament pattern of family has a monogamous Husband-Wife structure, and some of us know the significance of this relationship in reflecting the faithful relationship between Christ and the Church. 

Birkett surveys how the refusal to accept a definition of family not only results in policy-making problems (how to support, fund, recognise families) but also in real, physico-social consequences (the effect on children, the hardship of broken or single-parent families). There are some historical myths, or plain lies, on perceptions of the pre- & post-industrial family life. Some of these fall in the realm of Feminist protestations against the role of women as wives, or as a non-wage-earning parent, and what women actually achieved in these families. There is also an interesting section on the homosexual lobby, who despite being a minority even in Asutralia, have been able to sway the debate of family definitions and parenting rights toward an acceptance or championing of same-sex parenting. Some reasonable doubts against the benefit of this type of "family" are the statistics on instability of same-sex relationships (especially male), its impact on children and also the developmental advantage children have from having male and female parents in a stable relationship. Other important discussions include the chapter on IVF and the legal and social complications it has created and the importance of biology in forming relationship, and which is being dismissed too easily today.

Just why has the world throughout its history formed such similar social structures as the family and why has it worked for so long? Could it be that the biblical pattern of monogamous parents leading the household of dependent biological or adopted children be actually a built-in norm? Can our current society reject this by simply labelling this family as "old", "outdated", "bigotted" or "socially constructed"? What are the effects of refusing to see this as a norm? In particular, how are children doing in our society as a result of the loss of this once-recognised social pattern? What are the reciprocal effects of IVF on children and the biological parents? Are women happier and better off as single parents, or full-time careerist parents? Is same-sex parenting a beneficial thing for children?

It might just be that our continual rejection of a God-giving pattern is just that: a rejection of a good pattern. Our social projects, experiments and (re)definitions have not provided us with a safer, happier and more stable society. Is it the pattern at fault? Or is it a hardness to face facts? Our future will be telling. I sincerely recommend the perusal of the first chapter of this book, which describes a workable picture of family. Ultimately, family reflects the personality of a relational God: God the Father and God the Son. The Father loves the Son and the Son His Father. The Father cares for the Son and the Son obeys and honours the Father. And God brings man into His family: the Church is the Bride that the Husband (Christ) cares for and nurtures. Our worldly pattern of families are helpful guides letting us see an eternal pattern, of God the Trinity and mankind, whom He rescues and adopts as His own children. This heavenly Family, owes its being to the Family within God Himself.

But for now, stick with Dad & Mum and the kids in a home where they can turn to and depend on.