the essence of family: book

I don't think we need to convince people that "family" is worth reading and thinking about. Or that in our world many families are broken, torn and unstable. Kirsten Birkett places the family under a biblical worldview, in the flavour of the "essence" series. The concept of family needs particular defence in a place such as Australia. Our government in the past 10 years or so have seen the need to study, review and recommend policies on families, see for example the AIFS website. The Australian family or family groups are under strain, despite wealth and post-Christian "freedoms".

Just why does the world and history at large have used the traditional family as a structure for social organisation? Is it mere coincidence? Is it an evolutionary advantage? Is it mere social construction from an aeon of male-sexist domination? Does the idea of family exist or is it undefinable? These are seemingly fair questions. But, as Birkett argues, the big problem has been the refusal to use the historic, cross-cultural pattern of families (father, mother, children) as the model of comparison in our post-Christian age. As Christians, we know that this pattern is a God-given: it has existed from the act of Creation in Genesis. Yes, Judeo-Christian families have often strayed away from the monogamous type of family, but these were not ideal, or of God's preference. The New Testament pattern of family has a monogamous Husband-Wife structure, and some of us know the significance of this relationship in reflecting the faithful relationship between Christ and the Church. 

Birkett surveys how the refusal to accept a definition of family not only results in policy-making problems (how to support, fund, recognise families) but also in real, physico-social consequences (the effect on children, the hardship of broken or single-parent families). There are some historical myths, or plain lies, on perceptions of the pre- & post-industrial family life. Some of these fall in the realm of Feminist protestations against the role of women as wives, or as a non-wage-earning parent, and what women actually achieved in these families. There is also an interesting section on the homosexual lobby, who despite being a minority even in Asutralia, have been able to sway the debate of family definitions and parenting rights toward an acceptance or championing of same-sex parenting. Some reasonable doubts against the benefit of this type of "family" are the statistics on instability of same-sex relationships (especially male), its impact on children and also the developmental advantage children have from having male and female parents in a stable relationship. Other important discussions include the chapter on IVF and the legal and social complications it has created and the importance of biology in forming relationship, and which is being dismissed too easily today.

Just why has the world throughout its history formed such similar social structures as the family and why has it worked for so long? Could it be that the biblical pattern of monogamous parents leading the household of dependent biological or adopted children be actually a built-in norm? Can our current society reject this by simply labelling this family as "old", "outdated", "bigotted" or "socially constructed"? What are the effects of refusing to see this as a norm? In particular, how are children doing in our society as a result of the loss of this once-recognised social pattern? What are the reciprocal effects of IVF on children and the biological parents? Are women happier and better off as single parents, or full-time careerist parents? Is same-sex parenting a beneficial thing for children?

It might just be that our continual rejection of a God-giving pattern is just that: a rejection of a good pattern. Our social projects, experiments and (re)definitions have not provided us with a safer, happier and more stable society. Is it the pattern at fault? Or is it a hardness to face facts? Our future will be telling. I sincerely recommend the perusal of the first chapter of this book, which describes a workable picture of family. Ultimately, family reflects the personality of a relational God: God the Father and God the Son. The Father loves the Son and the Son His Father. The Father cares for the Son and the Son obeys and honours the Father. And God brings man into His family: the Church is the Bride that the Husband (Christ) cares for and nurtures. Our worldly pattern of families are helpful guides letting us see an eternal pattern, of God the Trinity and mankind, whom He rescues and adopts as His own children. This heavenly Family, owes its being to the Family within God Himself.

But for now, stick with Dad & Mum and the kids in a home where they can turn to and depend on.